need help

dear patmac, dear kartron,

i have this bad depression again, there is a pressure on me that keeps me from doing my things. i cannot see the importance of things for me. all seems to be worthless. must i accept and love this depression to get rid of it?

Should i go to the clinic in Heiligenfeld? can they help me?

I am taking phosphorus every day now, the homeopathic medicament prescribed from Dr. Cubasch.

The depression is heave pulling me down. Today i went to bed again trying to find peace and access to my one mind and fell asleep every time. i have mostly been sleeping all day. My mother does not like this, when my rythm is changing and i am awake in the night then sleeping all day.

Anyway, i would like to go on with paining, i have several ideas to work out, mostly digital.

Kartron, you are talking about a shield in the recording i am listening to. Can i get some shield also? Can you chase the black clouds away?

I am watching a dvd with ocean scenes, i love sand beaches and the ocean very much.

i have lots of clothes, complete wardrobe down in the cellar, because i want to loose weight and wear it again. wonderful clothes i like, that i cannot put on because of my big belly.

i want to sort out the things in my apartment, throw things away and make lots of collages from magazines i kept. with the older magazines i can use the nitro-technique, since printing changed this technique is not possible anymore.

what can i do myself to feel better? i try here to write all down what comes to my mind. You are talking about violet fire. sounds good.

i feel so needy for help that it almost hurts. i would like to be free and independant, but in this situation i dont know how to get out.

please help me soon.

greetings from artandsoul